"You can't wear a tank top two days in a row and you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. So I guess you picked today. Oh, and we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays. Now, you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us at lunch." Mean Girls
I'm a rules person.
Not in the sense that I don't talk in libraries or that I abide by the fasten your seatbelt icon on airplanes. Those rules are a little silly. However, I am a fan of self-induced rules, especially in the pursuit of a goal.
For example, one year, I was planning on going to New York with my friend Callie. So, for a month before the trip, I made a rule that I couldn't use my credit card at all. And if I did use it, I wasn't allowed to buy anything on the trip and I had to buy Callie dinner.
Another time, I wanted this new Lacoste shirt, so I made a rule that I had to do 30 push-ups every day for a month in order to purchase it. If I missed even one day, no shirt.
The more extreme the goal, the more extreme the rules. And, the rules do not have to be in pursuit of something (ie: The Two Week rule for shirts in middle school.)
My roommate, Katie, taught me a rule for relationships.
She recently met a boy who told her about his friend who inspired a new rule to be created. (Recap: Boy A is friends with Boy B. Boy A had a traumatic relational experience that inspired Boy B to create a new rule. Katie met Boy B who taught her said rule.)
Boy A met a girl at a Super Bowl party. Maybe it was the chips and salsa, maybe it was the beer, maybe it was the football spirit, but Boy A and the girl fell in love quickly.
They dated for the rest of the winter and spring, got engaged quickly, and were married before the following football season began.
Unfortunately, the poor girl didn't realize just how obsessed with football Boy A was, as the couple was too busy trying to keep up with Dale Earnhardt Jr. to notice.
Throughout football season, she became so frustrated with Boy A for his pigskin passion that she had to file for divorce. The young couple was divorced before the following Super Bowl.
So, Boy B made a rule for his relationships. He said that you should always date someone for all four seasons before committing to them.
I think this is actually an incredibly smart rule.
I mean, what if you get married without ever spending a summer together, and you don't realize that you, the Olympic swimmer, is actually married to someone who is allergic to chlorine. What are you going to do when it's 1000 degrees out and he won't go to the pool?
Or, what if your favorite holiday is Grandparent's Day, and your husband is so estranged from his grandparents that he won't let you celebrate it?
Paris Hilton, a real rule follower if you ask me, watched a graphic video about animal rights. Afterward she said, "From that point, I've never worn fur and I never will. I also haven't eaten any meat since. I just survive on pasta and stuff like that. I was grossed out. It was disgusting."
I hope that Paris and Benji Madden might consider my rule before taking anything to the next level. They've already been together for four months, so they're about one third of the way there.
Can you imagine what would happen if they get married this summer, and Paris doesn't realize that Benji has been eagerly awaiting National Meatloaf Appreciation Day on October 18? It could get pretty intense.
I think Paris could come to terms with it though, as she has previously expressed a conflicting opinion about animals: “Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.”
She does tend to push the rules.