when you're tired of waiting for your husband

This picture of Sally, Melissa and me is one of my favorites. We took it at Oyster Fest, which was almost exactly two years ago. It was springy in February and we got up early and had mimosas and the sun shone all day long. It reminds me of one of my favorite times in Atlanta - when we were all becoming friends and everything was new and exciting and we'd never even been to Oyster Fest before. 

I always think of that when I look at it.

But you know what else I think of? How right after we took this picture I started crying. And they had no idea what to do because I'd never cried in front of them before. How I told them I was sad that all of my friends had boyfriends and I didn't understand why I couldn't find a nice guy and finally just said, "when is it going to be my turn!?"

You get it. Right? So many of my friends want to know that. And so much more.

Why aren't they getting asked on dates?

Why aren't they meeting any quality guys? 

Why do all their friends keep meeting nice guys and they don't?

Why is God making them wait?

What is wrong with them?

When is going to be their turn?

And I get it. I so get get get it. I've had that feeling so many times. After bad dates and break ups and nights when I felt so alone. It's lonely. And loneliness is far worse than actually being alone. It's not having someone who knows you, gets you, makes you a priority.

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I don't know why some people get married at 18 and others have to wait until 32 and others at 55 and others not at all. I don't know why we all have to experience these trials differently. 

But I do know that, even though it can be an uphill battle, the best thing we can do is enjoy the right now. 

We cannot waste this season of life because we're tired of waiting for the next one. It might feel like winter in your love life - a little cold, not a lot blooming - but spring will come.

God is doing something. Big time. Two years ago, when that picture was taken, I was so sure I was ready. I think I even told my friends: I'm just ready! And I really, really felt ready.

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But God has done crazy cool stuff in my life since then. I've been broken down and built up 37 times. I've felt more real joy than I have in years. I've learned so much more about who I am. I've learned to be comfortable in my own skin and am finally living less for perfection and pleasing and more for the right things.

And it's not even over! Things are happening every day, and I am so grateful that God knew better. I thought I was ready, but, as it turns out, I was wrong. I'm a big time work in progress and the work is just getting started.