29 January 2013

on enjoying the ride

I recently had three conversations with three different people, but they were really not different at all. In fact it was just one situation masquerading as three.

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First, I was talking to a friend of Sam's who graduated in May and was, until this week, still looking for a job. He was sad and frustrated and feeling down, because, as anyone who has played the job search game knows, it's horrible and takes a serious toll on your self worth.

I told him what my uncle told me after I graduated: enjoy it. Take a trip. Reconnect with your family and friends.You'll likely never again have the chance to be living at home, expense free, with unlimited time off to figure things out.

But he couldn't relax. Because he wanted to know when he'd get a job.

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A few weeks later I was talking to a friend of mine, who said: I just wish I knew when I was going to get married. If I knew I was going to meet my husband at 30, I'd say: OK. Great. I'm going to embrace the next four years because I know I'll meet him then, and I'll just enjoy this time to myself.

But she can't - because she's stressing and worrying about when she will finally meet him.
 

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A few days later, I was talking to a friend who was trying to plan a trip to Napa. But she wants to get pregnant. So she and her husband didn't know if they should plan a trip for the summer, because who wants to go to Napa pregga?

And she was frustrated, because she can't find the balance between waiting and living and living and waiting.

Because she doesn't know when it will be her turn.
 

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But don't we sort of know? Sure, he didn't know when and where he'd find a job. And she doesn't know when and who she'll marry. Or when and how many babies she'll get to have.

But don't we know our needs will be taken care of? Isn't that faith in its purest form? When you don't know - you can't know - in any shape or way. And you can't figure it out. And yet, you just have to trust that it will fall into place?

We're all waiting for something. Some of us for smaller things than others. But everyone - especially in their 20s - wants one more thing and can find one other thing to worry about.

I was recently reading a book by Bob Goff and he said it, as expected, better than I can: "I've learned that God sometimes allows us to find ourselves in a place where we want something so bad that we can't see past it...When we want something that bad, it's easy to mistake what we truly need for the thing we really want. When this sort of thing happens, and it seems to happen to everyone, I've found it's because what God has for us is obscured from view, just another bend in the road."

And sometimes, maybe we have a couple of bends in our roads before the view in front of us makes sense. But the only thing we can do is enjoy this time - because someday, you'll look back and remember the amazing trip you took to Greece while you were unemployed, or what a sweet time it was when you lived with your best friends in the city, or had the cute bungalow with just you and your husband. And you'll look around at your job and husband and babies and realize it was all worth the wait.

But until then, all you can do is enjoy the ride.
 

PS: He found a job. And I'm just sure there will be boys and babies for those other two just around the corner. (:

10 comments:

  1. Whitney...this post is SPOT-ON!! People spend too much time waiting for something or searching for something rather than living their lives and knowing that love finds them, rather than them finding it. It took me a really long time to learn this. I'm so glad I did. Great post!

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  2. Amen, Whit. This is so true and very well said!

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  3. Great post Whit, per usual! So true, and so relatable! I know I have felt anxious like that on more than one occasion!

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  4. You are speaking directly to my heart this morning...thank you for that!

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  5. It's funny because as soon as I stopped wanting and waiting for something, it happened. The last thing I expected was to meet M, and then I did. The last thing I expected was to finally get my dream job, then I did. It's when you stopping waiting and start living that those good things come. :)

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  6. I'm in a sort of waiting situation as well... This is a post that has touched me in a very special way... thanks!!

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  7. I wish you knew how badly i needed to hear this. THANK YOU!!

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  9. Ugh I deleted my last comment on accident. Basically, you have inspired me! It is great to see a young person who is not afraid to talk about her faith. Thank you!

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  10. Thank you, this totally hit home. I'm in my mid-20s, and I've been plagued by a restlessness that I can't put my finger on. Do I need a new job? Date more? Meet new people? Move somewhere new? I'm just waiting and trying to figure out what that next big thing should be to transform my life. This is a good reminder to just enjoy the ride of life, be active and be curious, and whatever happens will happen. C'est la vie.

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