15 July 2014

on being "super busy"

Last weekend was one of the first, in a long time, that I stayed in Georgia and had minimal commitments. Simply because I'm in full swing in the transitional season of life. It's hard to find a weekend without either a wedding, wedding shower, baby shower, bachelorette party or engagement party. And I know I'm not alone here - that's life in your 20s.

With last weekend wide open, I was so excited to slow down and relax. But guess what?

I was so bad at it.

I got stressed Saturday because I wanted to make sure I was using my downtime well. It's so rare! I told Chris. I want to make sure we maximize it. 

It's a condition, I'll tell you what.

On Sunday night at dinner, Chris and I were talking about the glorification of busy and decided that there are two layers:
1. It gives us worth to "be busy"
2. It gives us guilt when we have downtime and others are busy
For example: My roommate is working out? My brothers are running errands? My friend is going for a walk? Why am I not doing any of those things? Should I be? What chaos can I create?

But I was thinking a lot about it and the worth we get from being busy is kind of like the worth we get from a lot of Instagram likes. It feels good and provides a temporal high, but it really doesn't mean anything.

Sometimes, when I feel like I'm too addicted to my phone or too addicted to my checklist, I like to think about being in Africa last fall. It was a time in life when I felt so worthy - of love, of life - so sure. And there were no phones. No social media. None of my close friends or family filling me up with praise. There was no schedule or to do list. There was no image I created.

It was just me and Africa. And I don't know how I can swing, in just a few short months, so far back to the other side. How did I go from a place of such mental simplicity to such a need for constant busy?

Don't get me wrong, here. There is nothing wrong with truly being busy - with truly being productive and getting stuff done. There is, however, something wrong with relying on that for our self-worth and creating the busy simply to feel worthy.

The busy epidemic is no joke and I know I can't solve for it in one day - even in my own life. But I do know that I can start by driving awareness and conversation. I can start by acknowledging it's something I can change. I can start believing that these slower times, which I worked hard to create, are worth enjoying. That great conversation is greater than a completed checklist. That going a little slower to do things right is better than going fast just to go fast. And that deep breaths are greater than deep sighs. 


  1. loved this post! definitely fall victim to the busy epidemic in more ways than one.

  2. Perfectly stated! I have this happen all the time and then I realize how important it is to take a step back and breathe and attempt to live in the moment. We always seem to want the opposite what we have.

  3. This is exactly what I needed! It's crazy how we make ourselves feel guilty if we sit on the couch for 20 minutes.. I just always feel like there's productive stuff I could be doing so instead I just go go go and then I get to the point where my body throws up the white flag and I can't do anything. Thanks for this reminder that it's okay to relax and not be busy!

  4. I love me some down time! When I found out I was pregnant, I soaked up all the "me" time that I could! Now I'm just grateful that Oliver still takes naps so I can still sneak in some of that time in before he gets older and more active!

  5. it's crazy how easily we can get so busy... this past weekend was the only one left of the summer that i have minimal commitments and not going here there and everywhere. it's fun and great but exhausting!

  6. love this post - it is easy to say i am busy when people ask, i think it gives us validation and also i agree with you too when everyone else is busy but i am not, i suddenly feel like i need to busy or why am i not busy what can i be doing to get busy, great reminders in this post


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