1. Don’t stress so much about finding a guy. I wish I’d learned this sooner. I wish I hadn't spent 25 stressing and instead had trusted that when the time was right, God would bring me someone to date. He.will.find.you. And you don’t need to do anything to make it happen faster.
2. Do what you love. Did you know that you glow when you’re doing what you love? I mean it. When we are in our element, we light up. And we connect more. I promise you that you don’t need to be a slave to the bars – standing around waiting for a guy to offer to buy you a drink. Do what you want to do. Go where you want to go. Wear what you want to wear. Don’t make your life a game of cat and mouse. Just be you. He will find you.
3. This time is precious. Once you start dating someone, everything will change. You won’t have autonomy over your schedule anymore and you have to find a careful balance between your significant other, friends, family, work and alone time. Is it worth it? Of course! But this time to yourself is precious. Instead of wishing it away, use it to really connect with your family and girlfriends, to try new hobbies and to grow on your own. When I finally stopped waiting to meet someone, I realized how fun this phase of life it was.
4. Don’t use sex to attract a guy. Unless you want to attract a guy that just wants to have sex. You are so much more than your physical body. You are lovely and beautiful! But you are even more than that. Don’t allow yourself to believe that your looks are why you’re worthy of a relationship. It’s a slippery slope when we begin to believe that the value we bring to a relationship is derived from our looks. You are much more than your body. Shine bright and shine far from the inside out.
5. Make big choices now. That puppy you want to buy? That city you want to try out? Or trip you want to take? You should try them! You are worthy of receiving all those wonderful adventures now. You don't have to put your life on hold because you’re afraid it might jeopardize your future relationship. I promise you that a big adventure won’t slow your relationship down. The person you end up with will be able to run right alongside you.
7. Let him come to you. I promise you that if a guy is interested, he will pursue you. Trust me, I've been there before: maybe he didn't get my text message? Maybe I should have left a voicemail? Is he nervous? Maybe I should help him out? My friends. Boys are hunters. If they like you, they will text you, call you and ask you out.
8. Sort through your issues. Now is the best time you’ll ever have to deal with the past. When you start dating someone and you’re worried about if he likes you and if it's going to go anywhere, it’s a lot harder to really dig into your own stuff. Use this precious time to learn more about who you are and what your past means to you.
9. You are not alone. Being single can feel so, so lonely. Because the loneliest feeling is not actually being alone, but is, instead, not feeling known. But I promise you, you are not alone. You are loved beyond words by your family, friends and God. On the lonely days, don’t apologize for needing more from your loved ones. They are there to talk and to remind you that you are deeply, deeply loved. Lean on them. And when they need it? Let them lean right back.
10. Be you. Because you are beautiful. And you are enough. Wholly, fully, inside and out. You are enough. It doesn't take a diamond ring to tell you this. You are enough, exactly as you are. Exactly where you are.