10 August 2015

The Biggest Lessons from my 20s {part two}

This post is part of a five-week series, The Biggest Lessons from my 20s. During the five weeks leading up to my 29th birthday, I'll be discussing the greatest lessons this decade has taught me. Read the most recent post, which is To Assume People Have Good Intentions here.  

There are two things I remember disliking in fourth grade; both of which always took place at the drinking fountain:

1. It was the first year most girls started wearing bras and boys would always stand behind us, pull back the elastic and let it go. It would snap on your back and then, worst of all, everybody would know you were wearing a bra. It was enough to make a nine year old girl pray she never, ever needed to wear one of those things.

2. If you weren't defending your training bra, you were always at risk for someone to tell you, just as you got enough water to feel hydrated after a hot Indiana recess: save the whales! Which was the worst. You weren't trying to hurt the whales! You even made your mom cut the plastic rings that held together soda cans. You cared about the ocean! Also, Indiana was landlocked, people!

The truth is, in 1996 in Zionsville, Indiana, the chance of us being the reason the ocean would dry up was, well, completely unreasonable. There would always be, at our school, enough water for every fourth grade body to refuel after four square.

I was thinking recently about how that idea - that there will always be enough - applies to our 20s, too. When you feel like everyone around you is getting the things you want, it's tempting to want to yell, save the whales! Save me a boyfriend and a husband. Save some promotions and raises for me! Save me a piece of land and the chance to have a baby. Just slow down people! 

It's easy to feel like the people around you getting more of what you want means you will receive less.

But, this is not an economy of scarcity. 

Just like there was enough water in fourth grade for me, the kids around me and the whales in the oceans, there is enough for all of us today, too.

Life might not look exactly as you thought it would by 28, but the things that are meant to be yours will become yours.

This has been, easily, one of the hardest and most important lessons my 20s has taught me. It has allowed me to better celebrate my friends when they hit milestones I've not yet reached. It has helped me to feel more at ease with where I am in my own life. It has allowed me to feel at peace with the direction of my career, my relationship status and living situation in Atlanta.

It has allowed me to believe that I am exactly where I'm meant to be in this moment. This life is unfolding exactly as it should. And that's really beautiful. 


  1. Training bras were the worst! This post has given me some great perspective; playing the comparison game is never healthy and, like you said, doesn't have any bearing on what is happening in our lives.

  2. "It has allowed me to better celebrate my friends who have hit milestones that I've not yet reached." Thank you for this - definitely needed to read it today!

  3. Something I need to constantly remind myself of so thank you for the reminder


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