15 August 2014

what happens when you want more?

Lately, I've been avoiding a blog post that is begging to be written. It's come up with friends, family and multiple emails from readers. Each one dances around the same question:

Is it OK to admit that you want more? That you aren't satisfied?

The struggle with the post is that there is a very fine line between getting caught in the comparison trap vs. admitting that I'm ready for more.

I don't want to be someone that thinks the grass is always greener or is constantly looking for the next thing. I want to practice gratitude and relax in life's sweet moments. I don't want to be yearning for more when I should be resting in the peace that I have enough and am in the phase I'm meant to be in. I don't want to get caught in the very Millennial trap of constantly asking for the next, next and next.

However, I do want to be someone that pushes herself to go for more. I don't want to be complacent or still when my head and my heart are telling me to go.

So where do you draw the line?

Right now, life in Atlanta is good. My brothers live one floor above me. I adore my friends here. Chris and I are in such a fun phase - comfortable yet still newish and exciting. It's a sweet period that, honestly, a year ago when I was pretty frustrated with being single and lonely without family in Atlanta, I would have PAID to be in.

So why, some days, am I itching for what's next? Why do I get greedy and wonder when I can live near even more of my family? And if Chris and I are moving forward fast enough? And what will be next at work?

Why do I find myself wondering what is next when right now is so sweet?

I think sometimes we rush toward what's next because we thought we'd be there by now. And one of the hardest things to do in your 20s is to live in reality as opposed to what you think should have happened. No, we don't need to kill our dreams of the life we thought we'd have. But we do need to let them take up a little less space in our line of vision. We need to let them float away just enough so that they are at the periphery and we can focus on the now.

So we can take in deep, deep breaths and see the beauty in the life we're creating, instead of the life we thought we'd create. 

Sometimes we hold on to the dreams we once wanted long after they are really our dreams anymore. We beat ourselves up for not getting to a phase we decided we'd be in by now. But what I'm learning is that maybe those dreams we used to have aren't really our dreams anymore. Maybe the new we're creating is far better. And if we'd give ourselves the grace to see that reality, we won't be in such a hurry to leave it all behind. 


  1. I don't have a ton to say but I wanted to tell you that I REALLY relate to this entire post. Beautifully put.

  2. love this entire post. such truth and vulnerability. and LOVE these pics. :) xoxoxoxo

  3. This is a wonderful post. I can tell you now that I'm in my mid 30's that this is exactly what I did in my mid to late 20's. All of my friends were married and already having children before I even had a serious guy in my life. The funny thing is, I look back on that time and think-wow-I really should have taken the time to enjoy each moment as it came rather than constantly trying to keep up. Hindsight is always 20/20, but isn't that the joy of living and learning as we go? :-)

  4. Your post always have a way of echoing exactly what's on my mind- thank you so much! I struggle with this all the time, I'm constantly thinking of where I thought I would be at this point in my life (even more so with an upcoming birthday) and it's hard for me to let go of those 'shoulds'. But you are so right about the dreams- some of them still hold true but where I thought I should be and what I wanted to be doing have changed... and it's time my brain got the memo!

  5. I love this post and can totally relate. I'm lucky to have met my husband back in high school but for the LONGEST time all we ever did was talk about what was next. Getting our drivers licenses, going to college, turning 21, getting internships, graduating, moving to Atlanta, engaged, promotions, married, dogs, ETC ETC. Yikes! It was overwhelming and we rarely lived in the moment. After we got married we agreed to just put life on hold for a while and enjoy US. Best decision we ever made. One day we'll move on to what is next with hopefully a family and a longer-term home...but until then, we're in a pretty sweet phase of life. We do talk about the future a LOT, but it doesn't consume us like it used to. As you said so very well, I am not at all where I thought I would be by now - but I wouldn't have it any other way. Life has changed and so have my dreams. Thanks for this reminder :)


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