This month has been a dichotomy for me in every way. It was 70 degrees a few weeks ago - unseasonably warm. And this week? We're experiencing nearly record-breaking cold, shocking us and reminding me that, as much as I think I do, I don't control anything at all.
The month also started with a lot of creative frustration for me. I felt like I had all of these ideas piling up, like water getting stuck in a dam, but I couldn't get anything out. I would start to write, but I couldn't finish posts. My journal entries were bland. I felt creatively stifled, as if I was going to explode if I didn't get something out soon. I even signed up for a pottery class in Decatur next week, in an effort to self soothe and draw out something, anything.
And then? Just like the weather changed overnight; my dam broke. Suddenly my mind is racing with things I want to share. I can't get anything down fast enough. My inbox is piled high with ideas coming to me - write about this and try that and connect with so and so on that. I can't keep up with the way my creative juices are flowing.
So how did it happen?
I'd like to say that dam just broke, unable to hold it back anymore. But I'd be downplaying it. This is much bigger than a little writer's block and, instead, me finally taking the steps I want to take creatively and emotionally to move forward on a few big bucket life items.
The breakthrough was a combination of love and support for people around me, my quiet times and a lot of big realizations. Here's what this month taught me as I tried to uncap my creativity:
1. That letting people into your life is scary, but beautiful. It allows them to support you and catch you when you fall. It allows them to help you when your dam is jammed - to unstick it, move you in the right direction and help you grow.
2. That when we do things halfway, we get half of the return. I was operating with one foot in, one foot out on a few decisions. You have to commit or you start to miss out.
3. That investing our energy into many things means the output is divided into many parts. When we invest our energy into one thing, it has more power to go further.
4. That slowing down isn't weak. In fact, it makes you stronger and more fit for battle.
5. That community fills us up and we are not, not, not meant to live in silos.
Stay tuned for updates on my next creative endeavor soon! Thank you for your continued support as a reader community. For building me up, helping me navigate things and for taking time to read my creative output.
Cheers to February!