10 July 2015

Five Facts from a Guy {about girls} #6

Happy Friday and happy one week into America's 240th year of life! Does anyone else go through a small mourning process when the Fourth is over? I do. It's the best!

Fear not, here to cheer us up this week is Chris' (and now my!) friend, Claude. He lives in North Carolina and has a super sweet job as a college basketball coach. His passion and excitement for his team are daily reminders to me to keep pursuing what I love in life.

Here are his thoughts on girls and dating.

And, in case you've missed them, catch up on the previous Five Facts from a Guy posts.

{I got to know Claude really well last Memorial Day when he spent the weekend in Atlanta. He's become a close friend and always makes me laugh with his great perspective on dating.}

1. Saying maybe is okay, no is even better. Guys love to pursue. Groundbreaking, I know. One of the things that can cool my attraction toward a girl that I am interested in is her being too available. Before the first date has happened, I'm already worried about her being way too into me because she mentioned that she has the next 10 nights available to go grab a drink. Even if you have every night of the week available to hang out, don't let him know that! It adds a bit of mystery to the beginning of a potential relationship and allows for both parties to go through the initial process at a more comfortable speed.

2. Share your passion(s).I might be a tad different than most, but one of the things that I love to find out on an early date is what a girl is passionate about. What do you look forward to each morning when you wake up? It can be anything! There is no wrong answer here, but it's amazing to hear someone open up about what they truly find purpose in.

3. Find out which friends matter.In today's world, we all have a ton of different friend groups that we can easily stay connected with. Some we have just known for a couple weeks, others we work with and some go way back. Whether we like to admit it or not, when a potential girlfriend, or girlfriend, meets my friends that I truly care about, it is a BIG deal. Don't sweat this, but rather be relaxed in knowing that he is probably more nervous than you are! Ask questions and find out whose opinion really matters. The ability to hold your own with his friends is a huge part of the process and it starts with knowing which ones have a voice in his life.

4. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. One of my closest friends reminded me of that after a break up as I was struggling to get back out there and move on. I think it not only applies to getting over someone, but also to starting something new. In North Carolina, and throughout the South, it often feels like everyone is in a sprint to get married, get a dog, then have kids. Don't get me wrong, those are all great things, but everyone's path is different. I want the girl I'm pursuing to want me to be in the seat across from her at dinner--not for her to just want the seat to be occupied. Remember to enjoy the (sometimes long) journey.

5. Share your "weird". We all have unique characteristics that separate us from each other. One of the things that I always find funny when talking to others about the dating process is how everyone wants to show this polished version of themselves in order to woo a certain significant other. Show us the real you. If it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world. As a basketball coach, when I recruit, a kid picking another school is almost as good as a yes, because then you get to move on to the next recruit and not waste any more time. Don't be scared to share who you really are, even the things that might make you a little weird.

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