we are engaged!! :)

I couldn’t be more thrilled to share with you all that Chris asked me to marry him on Saturday night. We are both overjoyed with the news! I'm so excited to share it with all of you wonderful readers! You have seen me through heartache, good and bad relationships and the very beginning with Chris.

I'm so grateful for your sweet emails and comments throughout our relationship and am so glad you have been part of our story as readers! The blogosphere is a weird place. I recently did a coaching call with someone from another country and at the start of the session, she said, “how is Chris?” I thought: someone in another country that I have never met is asking me about Chris. How wild! And, also, how wonderful – that I feel so cared for in this little corner of the internet.

So, before I share how it happened, I wanted to thank you all for your support of us as a couple!

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Months ago, Chris asked me what my perfect Atlanta day would be. I told him I’d want to do a super hard workout class with him + my brothers, then go to a good brunch. After that, I wanted to spend the day at the pool with friends, then go on a date with him.

Saturday, Chris sneakily put these plans in motion without me discovering how intentional it was. I thought my brothers decided on a whim to attend the class and brunch with us, but little did I know it was all pre-planned.

After a wonderful day with friends & family, Chris picked me up for dinner. We drove to one of my favorite honey holes in the city, Lullwater, to go on a walk before dinner. We walked for a little while, Moscow Mules in tow, when I suggested we turn around so we could get to the restaurant before we got too hungry. But he told me he wanted to walk a little further.

About a minute later, we turned a corner and I saw a sweet picnic set up by the water. He’d enlisted my brothers’ help to set up the dinner and I was completely shocked! They’d all been in on the plan all day to have our dinner el fresco and had snuck out of our house to set it up while I got ready.

I was so happy! But had no clue he was going to propose.

After dinner, we headed to his house for a dessert he’d made. While in the woods, we got REALLY hot as the nighttime humidity rose. We were also by the water, so we got eaten by the bugs. Normally, I want to eat every meal outside, but, with the bugs being so bad, I told him I wanted to eat inside. Unusually assertive, Chris insisted we sit outside on the roof for dessert. I was surprised he was so opinionated about it, but didn’t really think twice.

When we climbed on the roof, he’d set up another picnic blanket – surrounded by candles. And yet, I still had no clue he was going to propose. I said, “wow this is a fancy date!” and didn’t think anything of it!

Chris brought up dessert, which was an ice cream sundae bar. He knows ice cream is my favorite food, of course!, and had done this for our first Valentine’s Day together. He walked me through the options for toppings and then said he had spoons in his pocket. He pulled out the spoon for me, and it had a ribbon around it. I looked at the ribbon and noticed there was a ring tied to the spoon, which said will you marry me?

I was in a state of shock! I kept asking him over and over if he was serious. And then I said yes!

We went inside after that to eat the ice cream and drink champagne. Chris gave me a stack of cards, on which he’d written firsts from our relationship – the first time he knew he wanted to ask me on a date, the first time he knew he liked me, the first time he knew he loved me, etc. After about fifteen firsts, I got to the last one, which was the first time he knew he wanted to marry me.

The entire day and night felt magical and I’m still on cloud nine. I am excited beyond words to start this new chapter with Chris. I just keep thinking I’m so excited to brush our teeth together at night and take road trips and come home to each other at the end of the workday. It sounds silly to be craving those mundane things but, the truth is, those are my favorite things to do with him – the every day.

My entire being just feels so grateful. For the way people have shared in our joy during the last few days and celebrated with us. I also feel so grateful for how God has blessed our relationship during the last year and half. I prayed for my husband long before I met Chris and I'm overwhelmed by how faithful the Lord has been. Chris is a better man than I could have imagined marrying and I'm honored to call him my fiance today.

Thank you again for sharing in our joy! :) Happy Wednesday!

the right guy is worth waiting for

This weekend before the Fourth, I was in Chicago to be part of my friend Jamie's wedding. Jamie and I went to school  at Indiana University together. I stood as a bridesmaid, alongside three of our closest friends from college. The entire weekend was emotional for me - Jamie and Ray are one of those couples that feel so right. Seeing the way they've both grown together and as individuals during the last five years made me so proud of them and honored to have been able to watch the process. 

At the reception, I was dancing with the other bridesmaids when I realized that all five of us are in healthy relationships that vary from 12 months to five years in duration. The thought caught me off guard. 

You see, it has not always been this way for us. It took us a long time to collectively reach this point.

There has been heartache and heartbreak. There have been guys who never called back. And guys we didn't want to call back. There have been guys who disappeared out of thin air. There have been breakups and fizzle outs and good dates and bad dates and mediocre dates. There have been periods of many dates and periods of no dates.

There has been a whole mess of unrest that naturally occurs when you date in your 20s and are yearning to know what your future holds. 

It got me thinking about people our age and how it's really important that we don't settle for the wrong guy. 

When you are craving comfort, ease and companionship, it's easy to go down the wrong path with someone. When you want to be married or in a relationship so badly, it's easy to begin the process with the wrong person. When you're aching to be known and end the deep loneliness that your 20s can bring, it can be tempting to settle. Especially as more and more of your friends continue to get engaged and married and have babies. The comparison trap is real and deep.

But I think it's really important that we don't confuse settling down with settling. 

It can be tempting to ignore that feeling in your gut or the thoughts in the back of your mind that it might not be right. A lot of the emails I receive ask me this question: how do I know if it's right?

I can't answer that for you (although I do have personal rules on how you know if you should break up with someone).

And I can confidently tell you this:

- If you find yourself constantly questioning your relationship

- If you are staying in it because you're afraid of being single or spending weekends and weddings alone 

- If you find yourself worried that all the good guys are taken

- If you find yourself constantly annoyed of someone 

- If you are vacillating between wanting him to propose and thinking you should break up with him 

- If you find yourself wondering what else is out there

These are worth examining. These aren't necessarily reasons to end a relationship. But, I know for sure they aren't reasons that you should stay. 

Each of those reasons is wrapped in fear and the worst thing we can do is let fear be our guiding light. 

There was definitely a time when I was willing to accept mediocre relationships instead of full, joyful relationships. I was afraid to begin again. I was afraid to spend Friday nights alone. I was afraid to lose my dance partner at weddings. And, deep down, I don't know if I truly believed I deserved a full relationship with the best love. 

If you're like I was, take it from me: you deserve a really great relationship. You deserve to be pursued, respected and treated well. You deserve laughter and joy and happiness. 

Will it always be easy? Nope. Will there ever be frustration and pain? Yep. But you won't find yourself lying awake at night, wondering if you're in the right relationship. 

I know the waiting is tiring and lonely. It hurts. But as much as waiting now hurts, it's less than the pain of a broken relationship or marriage down the road. And, in the meantime, don't forget that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. And you are enough.